If we accept the principle that trust is the foundation of healthy relationships, why then, is there so little attention paid to the concept of self-trust?
I spent years on the journey of self-development, chasing fads, trends, and buzzwords in the pursuit of fixing all the things about me that were broken. It feels as though I personally propped up the self-help industry with all the investments I made in myself at the behest of whatever guru I was into at the time. Each and every time I was sure that they had the answer I was seeking. And all that Wizard of Oz “it’s been inside of you all along” -ish was complete and utter nonsense. My life isn’t a black-and-white movie– I’ve got issues, Glenda.
The thing I couldn’t see at the time was that self-trust isn’t sexy. It doesn’t sell as easily as a simple pitch of “lose 10 pounds in ten days”. The parameters are fuzzy. There are no easy guarantees. You can’t promise a thing like self-trust in 30 days. It’s not a pill.
Not to mention, self-trust kills the cash cow. When you rely on yourself, you don’t need to rely on others. You don’t want to come back again and again for half-baked, partial help. You see that Glenda and the Lollipop Guild mighta had a point. And that, my friends, is bad for any self-help guru’s bottom line.
So I began digging deeper and deeper to find out… what IS the thing under all the things? What is the foundation of it all? What are all the wisdom traditions pointing to? What is this never-ending restlessness within my soul actually trying to SAY?
My soul, my psyche, my Self, and my core were all wondering if I would ever, finally, trust myself instead of everything and everyone else. I couldn’t understand because I didn’t have a relationship with myself. I didn’t have familiarity or honesty or any of the other aspects of trust that go into developing a relationship (with myself or anyone else).
After a thorough check of all available options, I was finally able to see how it works, what it’s related to, and how it flows. Self-trust isn’t a destination or a binary switch that flips. It’s more of an ecosystem.
Once I saw it, the ramifications were obvious and astounding. (The time savings from letting go of all the second-guessing alone has been a plus!) Astounding because it’s nestled in the constellation of other attributes I’ve been studying and seeking for so long; sovereignty, autonomy, freedom, creativity, and a host of others. They’re all wonderfully, beautifully, fascinatingly interrelated.
Yet, perhaps the thing that most surprised me was the feeling of home that now comes with me. I don’t belong to anyone else. I belong to myself. I am home… and interestingly that’s not even where the story of the interrelated eco-system ends. It flows on.
Perhaps Dorothy said it best,
